Betrayal Is Worse Than Death

Source: “Famous photograph by [Don Hogan Charles] that was in ‘Life’ magazine in March of 1964 and again in ‘Ebony’ in September of that same year. In the picture, Malcolm X is holding a M1 Carbine in his right hand, and pulling back the blinds on his window with his left hand, looking outside his Queens, NY, home to keep watch. He had good cause. On Feb. 14, 1965, his house was firebombed. A week later, on Feb. 21, 1965, while giving a speech, with his family in the audience, Malcolm X was assassinated.” from Post-what.com.

Scripture: Luke 21:34-22:6 (NLT)

Quote: “To me, the thing that is worse than death is betrayal. You see, I could conceive death, but I could not conceive betrayal.” ― Malcolm X

Meditation: It is out of fashion among progressives to talk about Satan. This is understandable considering how “the devil” has often been used as an excuse to absolve humans of our error and harm, or to make simplistic judgments about one person or group as the enemy. A more complex way to talk about Satan is betrayal. Surely, it’s demonic to betray one’s own or another’s humanity. Be it for money, status, popularity, or ease. Is any of this worth sacrificing your integrity, our integrity, the integrity of the future worlds we await? Jesus’ warning to “keep alert at all times” is relevant. To engage in betrayal is to fall asleep. Staying alert is not the same as paranoia, though. Let’s not normalize cognitive distortions. Or limit betrayal to extreme situations like taking the life of a loved one. We experience the heartbreak of being betrayed when we discover that those we love and trust have been dishonest with us. But what if betrayal involves more than just the actions that others perpetrate towards you? Betrayal often begins with the everyday white lies we learn to ignore.

What if betrayal is accepting and acting on any lie about ourselves or a relationship? And what makes this internalization of lies so pernicious is that it often happens subconsciously. You may even find yourself shocked or even pressured into a different relationship than the one you believed you had. If we expanded our understanding of betrayal to include these perspectives, we would regularly experience betrayal with ourselves, our loved ones, our faith communities, our movements in exchange for the comfort and convenience of our insta-everything culture. We are as vulnerable to betrayal as we are to death. Except you only die once. A daily check-in with ourselves and our communities might be one of the most radical acts we can cultivate. This is not an act to fix me, you, or anyone. But to practice the tenderness of telling ourselves the truth each day. To be sure, even this practice won’t prevent betrayal. But, it will shape alertness in us. If Lent is anything, it is a time to refuse betrayal, to stay alert to what nurtures the true self and the true interconnectedness we share with one another and all of creation.

Songs:

1. Mortal Man by Kendrick Lamar (explicit lyrics)

2. Use Me by Bill Withers

Reflection Questions:

1. What resonates with you about how betrayal is described here? What is challenging? Would you describe betrayal differently?

2. What lies have you believed about yourself? About loved ones, or about people or organizations in the movement?

3. What true narrative about yourself is important that you make clear to yourself and those around you?

Call to Practice:

Take some time to journal about a time you experienced betrayal. You can do this by writing or talking aloud to yourself (you may even want to record it so you can play it back to yourself later). The goal of this practice is not to speak for or analyze someone else. The focus is you! What were the stakes of the relationship(s)? Did you believe and act on any lies? Was there an untrue narrative about you playing out? To what did or did you not give your consent? Did the relationship switch on you with or without your awareness? The definition of repentance is to turn in a different direction. Repentance begins in the soul. Be gentle with yourself and write/speak yourself a letter telling the truth about this situation and how you would handle things differently if something like this happened again. Be sure to name only the work that is yours to do (we cannot control or know everything about others’ motives and behaviors). What tenderness can you offer yourself? What is the next right step for you?

About the Author:

Rev. Brandon Wrencher (he/him) is a senior strategist and organizer, trainer, and consultant at the intersections of decolonizing church, contemplative activism, and community-building. Brandon is the author of: Liberating Church: A 21st Century Hush Harbor Manifesto (Wipf & Stock and The Voices Publishing, 2022), Buried Seeds: Learning from the Vibrant Resilience of Marginalized Christian Communities (Baker Academic, 2022), and “Our Cries for Equity” in The Other Journal: Authority (Cascade Books, 2021).

Stay connected to Brandon:

FB: Brandon Wrencher

These Black Lent devotionals were originally curated by IG: goodneighbormovement.