Let Me Talk To God For A Minute

From EARTHSEED: THE BOOKS OF THE LIVING

God is Change,

And in the end,

God prevails.

But meanwhile…

Kindness eases Change.

Love quiets fear.

And a sweet and powerful

Positive obsession

Blunts pain,

Diverts rage,

And engages each of us

In the greatest,

The most intense

Of our chosen struggles

Excerpt from page 41 of Parable of the Talents by Octavia E. Butler

Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood (2021), Chanell Angeli

Scripture: Psalm 20 (CEB)

Meditation

I still remember the first time I prayed without being forced to. I had just come to terms with my pregnancy, and word of the disappointment made it back to my granny. I still wasn’t comfortable with asking God for any of my own personal needs or wants, but the baby growing inside me was the best reason I had to fall to my knees. Me and Mama C prayed countless times together, though I always had one eye open, glaring at the old Black church folks dancing across her walls, daydreaming, knowing that my granny’s prayers were good enough to make it beyond the clouds. To this day, she’ll tell you how I peed on her the first time she took me to church. She proudly boasts as the first person to bring me into the house of the Lord, and until now I hadn’t realized how much that moment has impacted my life.

I watched my daddy preach and teach the Word from the bottom of his heart since I could remember. He acted as my lifeline to God, I still had time to get it together. Since I loved my daddy, and he loved me more, I didn’t feel the void of God’s presence in my life…well, until of course my idol fell from grace. They always do…fall. I took his sins as permission to forget everything I learned in church, to turn to what was easy. All along, I felt a lingering shame. I felt God watching me wander, only to hide behind my father’s guilt and my mother’s neglect.

But on that day, with my granny on the other side of the phone, I was reminded that I was God’s girl. I knew that no matter how far I’d wandered, God had not forsaken me. As I unpack the shame of my chosen struggles, and step out from behind the trauma of my childhood, I take another step toward the God that heard me all along. And while I’m still not comfortable asking God for any special favors, may the Lord accept this offering.

Song: Tell Him by Lauryn Hill

Reflection Questions:

1. Think about your introduction to God. How have your first memories of faith and religion shaped your relationship with God today?

2. When I watched my grandmother pray, somehow I knew God could hear her, but I had no confidence that God could hear my prayers. Reflect on your own conversations with God. How have you been assured that your prayers are heard and that the promises of victory are real for us?

Call to Action:

Our childhood shapes the ways in which we see ourselves and the world we live in. What is your favorite memory from your childhood? Who was the first person who showed you a version of love? What have you had to release from your childhood to find peace now? What can you release today to walk toward God?

About the Author

Javaria Johnson (she/her) is a Seasoned Science Education Professional and advocate for public schools, marginalized children, their families, and communities. She is an Educator and Advocate, and STEM Teacher for Richmond Public Schools.

Stay connected to Javaria:

IG: @thesciencecypher

These Black Lent devotionals were originally curated by IG: goodneighbormovement.